Illness can cause a lot of tension on a marriage if we don’t defuse those stressful moments quickly. Laura shares.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
I travel to Ohio to see my cardiologist twice yearly. It is a 600-mile round trip and I must rely on my husband to drive.
Traveling is challenging physically and emotionally. Physically I need to elevate my feet to avoid blood pressure drops. I experience headaches, nausea, pain, and other symptoms. I always dread one particular Ohio rest stop. I inevitably have to use the bathroom.
And if the air temperature is too cold my hands turn purple. The walk back to the car is a challenge, as I hold on to my husband with a death grip, my brain fogged, limbs getting heavier each step, praying I don’t pass out.
But worse than the physical perhaps is the emotional toll of the trip. We navigate–after 26 years of marriage–but these trips remind us clearly that chronic illness snuck into our marriage, grabbed hold and won’t let go. We had no choice in the matter.
After getting lost en route to the hospital for my latest appointment, we found ourselves in a traffic jam. Foggy and tired, I became crabby and said something that angered him.
After my appointment he was still upset and decided we would drive home; foregoing a hotel and a visit to a dear friend the following day. I was devastated. All I could do through my tears was pray, asking God to do the impossible–solve this problem. And after completing the prayers my husband said “let’s get a hotel tonight.”
Emotionally exhausted I asked for a room.
“God saved this room for you,” said the clerk. “I just turned away someone else.”
I know God stepped in that night and calmed our hearts. I am also aware that chronic illness strains a marriage and we must work to communicate so that it doesn’t destroy our bond. But with God on our team we have a fighting chance.
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for answering my prayers that cold February night. Please guide others as they struggle with the challenges that chronic illness often puts on relationships. Amen.
About the author:
Laura Seil Ruszczyk lives in New York with her husband of 26 years and three kids. She travels to Toledo, Ohio to see a dysautonomia specialist. Dysautonomia is the deregulation of the autonomic nervous system which controls such things as blood pressure, breathing, temperature control and heart rate.
Do you turn to prayer when in stressful situations?
Marriages go through so many circumstances. Illness is one of the biggest, I believe. Here is a beautiful video with Casting Crowns singing “Broken Together.” Hoping you are blessed. -Lisa
Thank you for sharing this amazing testimony of how God heard your cries and healed your situation, Laura. So encouraging to be reminded God does answer prayers.
Trudy, God certainly does answer prayers. Thank you for writing. Blessings. Laura
Praise the Lord He heard you. I can relate to an extent , I rely on my husband for so many things, such as driving me around, shopping, etc. We forget sometimes how much our illness affects our loved ones also. Thanks for sharing.
Great devotion Laura.
Sarah, I too rely on my husband [of 45 years] for so much.
I agree it is easy to forget sometimes how our health affects them.
My constant prayer is that I do not take his help and support for granted.
Mind you, he has a unique way of dealing with it at times.
He once said our marriage vows should have been ” In sickness and IF EVER in health” 🙂
Fortunately it was said with love and I took it that way.
I have a warped sense of humour too 🙂
Blessings from Down Under
Helen, I love your’s and your husband’s humor. Humor is an important part of marriage too I think. God bless you. Laura
Sarah, I agree we do forget how things effect the other person in the relationship or the family. But relying on God for help is a must. God bless you. Laura
How beautiful Laura. What patience and perseverance you must have to live with your illness. I admire you and treasure God’s gifts in all situations. Loving, Jackie
Jackie, Thank you but in this case I lost my patience in my illness and my relationship but thankfully God assisted.
Thank you for your kind words.
Blessings.
Laura
WOW! What a special testimony Laura! God is good! 🙂
Thanks for sharing it. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Wow is right Kerryn. God is good. Laura
This is silly but I thought others might enjoy the humor I felt when I misread the title of this devotional. If you read the title printed on the photo (instead of the one in all text) you’ll see, “Avoiding Resentment, Illness & Marriage”. It sounds like marriage is something to avoid right along with resentment and illness! Ha! 🙂
That is very funny Holly. Thank you for the laugh. Laura
I too have a well developed sense of the ridiculous.
Well-spotted, Holly 🙂
laughing!
Laura,
What a wonderful illustration of the immediate potency of a prayer!
Also, it illustrates so beautifully, how even our crabbiness-infested reactions can be redeemed in the hands of a loving God.
I am curious, did the clerk know that you were believers, or did she offer that remark without that knowledge?
Either way, I am glad she knew how to listen to our Abba:)
Lestta,
No the clerk had no idea that we believed in God. It turned out she even gave us a discount on the room and it was a brand new hotel, so very nice. We ate a late dinner in the lobby and she checked to see how we liked our accommodations. It was pretty amazing considering how the night shifted after my prayers.
Laura
Wow! Even more special for you Laura! 🙂 Lotsoluv Kerryn
Holly, I had the best laugh (out loud) that I’ve enjoyed for awhile when I read your NOT “Silly” at all observation. Thanks for sharing it.
Even though our differences as human beings brings challenges with them, I’m glad God made us each unique. My much older sister told me I had my father’s sense of humour. I don’t always appreciate my hubby’s “attempts” but they have often dispelled what could have become nasty situations.
Laura, I really appreciate your devotional. I congratulate you and your hubby for staying committed to one another all these years.
I have been married to the same guy for longer than you and agree that chronic issues put a heavy strain on such a close relationship.
Last night I asked him to help me get supper by paring and cutting some carrots and I was openly displeased with the way he did it. I went ahead on my own, but he graciously came to my aid a few minutes later by setting the table. What a gift that was.
I love the way the Lord answered your prayer the night of your appointment!
You’re and inspiration to me.
Beth, I smiled reading your post as sometimes when we want our husbands to ” cut the carrots” or do something else they do it in a way other than what we had hoped. I am trying to bend my expectations and be thankful I have a loving husband.
Thank you for writing.
Blessings.
Laura
Hi everyone just found your site and would like to say thank you been going through flare after and its been pulling me down. I know you all get this and understand this. Lisa I want to say thank you I just watched your video I think you are amazing how you can turn things around. I also think its important to tackle and change miss guided medical workers and society so that it less of battle so. I would email her the video and ask her to account for her words. I was size uk 14 and up to 16 sometime 18 with meds and it well know it can cause problems. Do not take blame into your heart, and do not allow others to place blame when they are not able to resolve what the problems are. If you are not getting the help you need change Docs, it took me long enough to find one who understands all my conditions. To I am counting my blessing my Son and husband. I find it hard everyday feel very alone in world of able people I watch them waste health or turn their eyes upwards with demands of their children. If I had one bit of their health I would be out playing football instead I look at the injustice finding this really hard to accept. I just wanted to reach out and say hi to everyone and sorry for the book.
Lorraine, So glad you found this site. There is a lot of great support here. Thank you for writing. Blessings to you. Laura
Delighted that you found this site Lorraine! Welcome! 🙂
Sorry to hear you’ve been going through a tough time with flares lately….. not fun! I hope that you feel less alone and understood here.
You may like to join the Rest Ministries Sunroom where you can get to know many wonderful Christians, who also deal with chronic illnesses. To join, click the “Sunroom” link at the very top of this
page. Hope to see you there. Happy Easter…. He is risen indeed! Lotsoluv Kerryn