Do you allow your illness to be. Reason to emotionally beat yourself up? Debs reminds us to be kind.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12).
It can be such a struggle some days to do everything that I need to. I find I can get really down on myself because I can’t achieve all that I would like to.
I tend to place expectations on myself that are not achievable–“forgetting” that I have a chronic illness. I get so cross, angry, and really frustrated. I could so easily scream.
I was having a vent about all this to a close friend and she said “Debs, stop being so hard on yourself.”
She encouraged me to try to be kind to myself. The next day she sent me a text with the scripture from Colossians 3:12 which tells me to clothe myself with kindness.
Around this time Wimbledon was on the television and being from the UK, I am a supporter of Andy Murray. A journalist this year had posted a picture of Murray reading an A4 sheet of paper with 10 motivational phrases on that he reads during his matches. The first phrase on his list was “Be good to yourself.”
It’s all too easy to neglect ourselves, or feel guilty about wanting to be kind to ourselves. I tend to wonder if am I allowed to be kind to myself.
Then I read that I can clothe myself in kindness and I realize that I need to do this every day. It’s a choice I need to make.
A term used in the psychology world is “self-soothing” and this involves undertaking activities that use the five senses and which positively affect our mood.
I now choose to spend time enjoying a nice soak in a warm bubbly bath, getting a massage, eating my favorite food, watching a good television series or listening to some worship music (although not all at the same time!!) without feeling guilty. I have to say it does work, it does lift my mood.
Prayer: Dear Lord, When I am feeling down on myself prompt me to be nice to myself. Take away any feelings of guilt that tell me I am not allowed to enjoy myself whilst I am ill. Thank You that You lavish Your love upon me. Help me to clothe myself with kindness everyday. Amen.
About the author:
Debs Edwards lives in South Wales, UK with her husband Simon and her two children aged 9 and 14. Debs has had fibromyalgia and photo aggravated rosacea for 18 months. She is able to continue to work on a part-time basis as a health researcher for 2 days a week at Cardiff University. After being a busy person for as long as she can remember it has taken her a while to adjust to having to slow down and to allow herself to rest when she needs to.
Do you forget to be kind to yourself? Do you find that you are hard on yourself since you have become ill? What could you do to be kind to yourself this week?
This is “Your Grace Finds Me” with Matt Redman and Joe Castillo. It is a lovely worship song that reminds us that God gives us grace every day–it finds us–regardless of how hard we are on ourselves. I recently designed a necklace pendant necklace that says “embrace the grace.” I was just thinking of God’s enduring grace one day and that phrase came to mind. It was as if God said “I keep offering my grace to you, but it’s up to you to embrace the grace.” I hope this song blesses you. -Lisa
thank you hon, timely as so often these devotionals are, PRAISE GOD! Bless you…………….
Thanks Linda
Glad it blessed you
Debs
Hi Debs, thanks so very much for the gentle reminder that those verses apply just as much to how we need to treat ourselves as it does to how we treat others. I too am trying to learn and remind myself to do those things that bring me joy. Like doing my art, or reading, listening to worship music and taking a walk. All things that allow me to show kindness to myself.
That lift my spirits, it seems when I do take those self kindness opportunities, it allows God’s love to flow so much more freely from within myself to others afterwards. What a blessing it becomes all around!
Peace and love to you. Di
Hi Diane
I’m so glad this verse helped you. I try to remind myself everyday that it is a choice that I need to make.
Many blessings
Debs
Hi Diane. I’m glad you are able to find activities that enjoy and that lift your spirits. I am certainly enjoying it – especially colouring at the minute. Many blessings. Debs
Thanks for that devotional, Debs. I find I am much harder on myself than on others, and that was a good reminder to be kind and compassionate to myself! I think God was speaking to me through your message. 🙂
Hi Julie
So glad the devotional came at the right moment for you.
many blessings
Debs
So glad it blessed you Julie. I pray that you will enjoy being kind to yourself
Debs
Debs
I can very much relate to what you shared and I will have to say that this is the first time I actually saw “being clothed in kindness” in this scripture as not only being kind to others but to myself.
I can remember years ago, an elderly woman who took me under her wing, often spoke with such wisdom. One day, I was, along with being frustrated about a situation, really bashing myself because of how poorly I was handling it.
When I paused she asked me a question ” What would you say to a good friend in this situation?”
I did not hesitate long at all.
“I would tell her to be patient with herself.”
” I would remind her of some of the times she was strong.”
” I would tell her that I believed in her,”
” I would tell her of all the positive things I saw in her.”
She said…” Now why don’t you speak to yourself as you would this good friend?”
I have held onto that since then…and I often remember it…if not immediately…soon after.
Or if not…I’ll call up a friend who is an encourager OR I will do what another wise woman told me she does.
She said ” When I need a note…I write a note…when I need a call…I make a call…When I need to remember how God sees me …I will hand out a compliment.
It is in the giving that we receive.
I can see that God, along the way, has sent me some very wise women who taught me it was OK to be kind to myself…it helped me and helped others
Lin
Hi Lin
What a very wise friend you had. It is so good to have friends around us that encourage us. It was one such friend that inspired this devotional. I pray that we both will have many more such friends in our journey
Debs
Hi LIn
Thanks for sharing that was a lovely encounter yo had with that elderly lady. It is so true that when we give out to people that we also receive. I too have had the benefit of some wise women along my journey. May God bless you today
Debs
Hi LIn
Thanks for sharing that was a lovely encounter you had with that elderly lady. It is so true that when we give out to people that we also receive. I too have had the benefit of some wise women along my journey. May God bless you today
Debs
Thank you!!!!!!!
First I want to thank Lisa for the dog picture. It’s given me many smiles.
Debs, I can so easily relate to being down on myself.
“It can be such a struggle some days to do everything that I need to. I find I can get really down on myself because I can’t achieve all that I would like to.
“I tend to place expectations on myself that are not achievable–“forgetting” that I have a chronic illness.”
Thanks for these words that I identify with. And for the wise counsel to be kind to myself.
It has helped me to talk back to my thoughts about myself with the truth but I still dwell way to much on my faults.
Thanks for your prayer, to which I say, “Amen”.
Try to enjoy one of your favourite activities this weekend Deb.
Thanks Beth. I read somewhere once to write a todo list for each day and then to delegate jobs or even cross some off altogether. I find that really helpful. I have two boys aged 10 and 14 and they like to be helpful if the incentive is right!!
I hope you can find ways to be nice to yourself this week Beth.
many blessings
Debs
Hi Beth
Yes – I too love that dog picture. I pray Beth that you won’t dwell on your faults but that you and that you will be able to find the time to be nice to yourself. I am enjoying colouring at the minute and find it really relaxing and therapeutic.
Many blessings
Debs
I struggle with the same frustration when I can’t do everything I feel I need to get done. A good friend recently asked me if I ever gave myself credit for the things I have accomplished that day instead of only thinking about the things I couldn’t get finished. That comment really changed my thinking, now when I start getting frustrated about all the unfinished daily projects, I stop and take the time to acknowledge what I was able to accomplish. Some days illness and pain mean the accomplishments are few (on those days I count showering as an accomplishment!), but taking a minute to acknowledge what I did do makes my days a lot less frustrating.
Hi Deena
It is really difficult isn’t it trying to adjust to new levels of activity and the need to run a house and look after the family. I have recently had to employ a cleaner and last week I discovered that she is a Christian. Now I go find that I have more free time to be nice to myself without thinking about all the jobs that need to be done.
I pray that you will find a balance and have some “you” time this week
Debs
Deena – that’s a great idea. Sometimes I write a todo list and then cross things off or delegate and then write myself more realistic list. I think I will start to give myself credit for those things I get done -thanks for sharing.
Debs
Deena, that’s a great idea!
About a year ago, I wrote down in a journal things I’d accomplished for a couple of weeks, a day at a time. I was amazed at what I’d actually done and it did encourage me. I’m glad you reminded me of that. Lord willing, I’ll do it again, at least for awhile. It’s definitely a way of being kind to ourselves.
Looking at this subject a different way,, God loves us unconditionally, because of Jesus’ sacrifice in our place!
Gentle hugs,
Beth
Thanks for this very timely devotional Debs! 🙂
I’m late coming to read this, but am here in God’s perfect timing! I’m going through grief of the death of a very dear family friend. Having cried bucketloads of tears, I have even less energy than usual to do the limited things I can “normally” manage & have been very tough on myself! I needed to hear this message today & accept God’s grace, as I rest & am kind to myself. Time to get myself a fave tea in a pretty teacup & then crawl into bed a bit earlier tonight! Thanks again. God bless. Lotsoluv Kerryn
Kerryn
Glad the devotional was able to help you.
Debs